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Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Efforts unnoticed, gestures lost

I used to have some sure, safe places, I had some concrete ideas about certain things.
I believed with all my efforts into those places and ideas. They were my zen, my shelter, my getaway. But now I've come at a certain point in life where the meaning of everything is changing. Maybe things aren't as concrete as they used to be. Maybe friendship doesn't exist. Maybe loyalty is overrated.

My places of sure things fail me. Maybe you don't get back as much as your efforts. Maybe this is all you get. You spend all your time being there and people take you for granted. Efforts are left unacknowledged,  gestures always lost on some people.

What's surprisingly though are the sources these disappointments come from. Then again, no matter how glorified i try to make mg problems, I'll always be the villain in another persons story. Still I am a human being, shouldn't I be allowed my fair share of sadness, anger and complaints?

Maybe this is the ultimate lesson, nothing is ultimate. There's no good, bad, write or wrong, only perspectives.

And so, I am learning yet again, to be alone. I am learning to appreciate and value solitude. To never depend on anyone, being kind without expecting returns, to walk alone.

And to be the sole keeper of my own peace of mind.

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