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Friday, August 21, 2015

Okay Hi!

So, this is the 100th post of my humble little blog.
I realized, there hasn't been a proper introduction from my part yet. So I've decided for 100th post I'll write a few things about myself.

Okay, so, first thing you should know about me is probably my refusal to act like an adult. It can be said that I didn't grow past my teen years. My mentality is stuck at 17 years. I can be mature when needed but never an adult, oh no.
I was a Bamoonpoita baby. I was raised with great care, love and respect.

Growing up, I had an absolutely wonderful childhood. The kind that could make any people jealous.
Sukumer Roy, Chuck Jones, Hannah-Barbera, J.K Rowling and Jim Carey made my childhood.

People start addressing me as "Ayon da" when they find out my name is Ayon.
Its not like I don't like it or anything, its something I've always found interesting. 

I'm in love with Trains.
I keep losing handkerchiefs.
Stargazing and walking are two of my favorite activities.
I like high speed journeys.
I like bumpy rides.
I am unusually attracted to the unliving things.

The biggest thing I found out about myself in the past years is that I am helpless against some particular emotions. Homesickness, love and self doubt. People may get tired of me complaining about being homesick. I sometimes get severe depression from homesickness. I am homesick to the point where I feel homesickness almost as a solid, physical form: a twisting in my guts, a weight in my knees, a knot in my brain and an obstacle in my throat.

I am reluctant to change my current city which is set to Rajshahi on facebook, even though I am in another city.

In my free time I like to hunt down and listen to musical instruments from various parts of the world on the internet.

I am humbled, terrified and astonished by the fact that this world has so many things to offer that we may not be able to experience in one lifetime. All the people, place and the little treats.
I also fairness is composed of both happiness and sadness.

I have a tremendous amount of love and respect for the people that surround me all day. I may not stress it enough but I really do. I really love you people and you are my world. I wish I could do more for you, but really, I do all I can.

If you don't take me seriously, you'll make me feel like a burden. I will stop bothering you and slowly withdraw myself from your life.

I am repulsed by the people who cant have fun without demeaning other people. Some people can't even talk to other people without talking shit about other people.

I have learned to love solitude, I seek it out. Solitude is a teacher.
I can now shut down all the noise and find solitude in crowds.

I am a great fangirl.
I am also allergic to higher grade drawing pencil than 2B.

There are a few things that I need to be true in order for me to not lose all hope. One of these is that Calvin always stays with Hobbes.

There's this idea of people about me that I act like a bitch whenever they ask for my birthday.
Allow me to clear things out. These past few years I've lived away has emotionally crippled me. Birthdays and other happy occasions kinda remind me how pathetic and lonely I actually am. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to get birthday wishes, It'd make me happy beyond measures, BUT only from a few close people, and perhaps some people who really mean it. Heartfelt wishes. Everything else seems like noise and commotion to me.

There's a spot in my left eye. I discovered it only days ago. It moves with my eyeball.
Sometimes I see it, sometimes I don't and it devastates me.

Lastly, I really love my blog. Creating this blog was an impulsive decision back in 2010, but as the years flew by, this tiny place of the cyber-universe has been my refuge, my hideout. I can write stuff and don't have to worry about judgement. Even if nobody reads them, just getting stuff out feels wonderful.

I wrote this in a slightly happy mood so this post may lack quality.
If you are still reading this, I salute you. Thanks for taking the time to read this narcissistic gibber gabber from someone you're probably never gonna meet.
You are awesome. 

Thursday, August 06, 2015

Thought Snippets #03: Islands

Maybe I'll become an island.
Desolate, distant, detached, yet a paradise and bliss for lost souls.



Photo: Tashfi