Chippokena 02

Happy birthday chippokena ♥
An awesome person
An awesome friend
An awesome little brother
Partner in crime
Kelani
♥ ♥

Dawg

Happy Birthday Shakik.
Its about time you set your priorities straight and value the people that care about you.

Saraswati

Numinous Endeavors

Durga

Tough Kid

I always liked to believe that I was immune to negativity. The fact that no mean words or hateful glances could ever hurt me. And to some extent, that was true, none of these things did ever bother me. I liked to think I was tough, like a rock. I had this powerful wall built around me that no ill thought could penetrate. And it was so.
Then, one day, my nanu (maternal grandparent) just casually said to me, "I have big dreams about you, Ayon". And it broke me down. I was in pieces. All those walls suddenly vanished. I felt like bursting into tears.
I was immune to negativity after all, just not immune to the thought of being a letdown to all those people who tirelessly love me.

Order's Up!!

Vagna Baba

Painly

Painly :3

Sorry for the delay, I feel horrible and ashamed. REALLY.

Okay Hi!

So, this is the 100th post of my humble little blog.
I realized, there hasn't been a proper introduction from my part yet. So I've decided for 100th post I'll write a few things about myself.

Okay, so, first thing you should know about me is probably my refusal to act like an adult. It can be said that I didn't grow past my teen years. My mentality is stuck at 17 years. I can be mature when needed but never an adult, oh no.
I was a Bamoonpoita baby. I was raised with great care, love and respect.

Growing up, I had an absolutely wonderful childhood. The kind that could make any people jealous.
Sukumer Roy, Chuck Jones, Hannah-Barbera, J.K Rowling and Jim Carey made my childhood.

People start addressing me as "Ayon da" when they find out my name is Ayon.
Its not like I don't like it or anything, its something I've always found interesting. 

I'm in love with Trains.
I keep losing handkerchiefs.
Stargazing and walking are two of my favorite activities.
I like high speed journeys.
I like bumpy rides.
I am unusually attracted to the unliving things.

The biggest thing I found out about myself in the past years is that I am helpless against some particular emotions. Homesickness, love and self doubt. People may get tired of me complaining about being homesick. I sometimes get severe depression from homesickness. I am homesick to the point where I feel homesickness almost as a solid, physical form: a twisting in my guts, a weight in my knees, a knot in my brain and an obstacle in my throat.

I am reluctant to change my current city which is set to Rajshahi on facebook, even though I am in another city.

In my free time I like to hunt down and listen to musical instruments from various parts of the world on the internet.

I am humbled, terrified and astonished by the fact that this world has so many things to offer that we may not be able to experience in one lifetime. All the people, place and the little treats.
I also fairness is composed of both happiness and sadness.

I have a tremendous amount of love and respect for the people that surround me all day. I may not stress it enough but I really do. I really love you people and you are my world. I wish I could do more for you, but really, I do all I can.

If you don't take me seriously, you'll make me feel like a burden. I will stop bothering you and slowly withdraw myself from your life.

I am repulsed by the people who cant have fun without demeaning other people. Some people can't even talk to other people without talking shit about other people.

I have learned to love solitude, I seek it out. Solitude is a teacher.
I can now shut down all the noise and find solitude in crowds.

I am a great fangirl.
I am also allergic to higher grade drawing pencil than 2B.

There are a few things that I need to be true in order for me to not lose all hope. One of these is that Calvin always stays with Hobbes.

There's this idea of people about me that I act like a bitch whenever they ask for my birthday.
Allow me to clear things out. These past few years I've lived away has emotionally crippled me. Birthdays and other happy occasions kinda remind me how pathetic and lonely I actually am. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to get birthday wishes, It'd make me happy beyond measures, BUT only from a few close people, and perhaps some people who really mean it. Heartfelt wishes. Everything else seems like noise and commotion to me.

There's a spot in my left eye. I discovered it only days ago. It moves with my eyeball.
Sometimes I see it, sometimes I don't and it devastates me.

Lastly, I really love my blog. Creating this blog was an impulsive decision back in 2010, but as the years flew by, this tiny place of the cyber-universe has been my refuge, my hideout. I can write stuff and don't have to worry about judgement. Even if nobody reads them, just getting stuff out feels wonderful.

I wrote this in a slightly happy mood so this post may lack quality.
If you are still reading this, I salute you. Thanks for taking the time to read this narcissistic gibber gabber from someone you're probably never gonna meet.
You are awesome. 

Thought Snippets #03: Islands

Maybe I'll become an island.
Desolate, distant, detached, yet a paradise and bliss for lost souls.

Photo: Tashfi

Machete

Happy Birthday Ruponty, aka Machete/Pokemon :D :D

Flobbit

Happy Birthday Anan, aka Fluffy, Flobbit, Jigglyfluff!!!
:D :D

Tilok Mania

Late Happy Birthday Tilok Mania!

Look what I did to your face :3

Sillage

Impulses

I almost pierced my ear today.
I don't know exactly what drove me to this. Maybe I was so desperate to get out of this auto pilot life by doing something really debatable, to break the boring suffocating pattern, or maybe I was so frustrated with myself that i was craving physical pain to divert my mind, or maybe I was just looking for attention.
I dont know.

Travel Time!

Travelogue

Travelogue

Posted by Annoyíng Ayon on Monday, May 11, 2015

Morticia Addams from The Addams Family

I was feeling morbid AND missing Addams Family at the same time,

so here's a quick Morticia Addams.

Tried to be true to the cartoon version

Azul y Rosa

Efforts unnoticed, gestures lost

I used to have some sure, safe places, I had some concrete ideas about certain things.
I believed with all my efforts into those places and ideas. They were my zen, my shelter, my getaway. But now I've come at a certain point in life where the meaning of everything is changing. Maybe things aren't as concrete as they used to be. Maybe friendship doesn't exist. Maybe loyalty is overrated.

My places of sure things fail me. Maybe you don't get back as much as your efforts. Maybe this is all you get. You spend all your time being there and people take you for granted. Efforts are left unacknowledged,  gestures always lost on some people.

What's surprisingly though are the sources these disappointments come from. Then again, no matter how glorified i try to make mg problems, I'll always be the villain in another persons story. Still I am a human being, shouldn't I be allowed my fair share of sadness, anger and complaints?

Maybe this is the ultimate lesson, nothing is ultimate. There's no good, bad, write or wrong, only perspectives.

And so, I am learning yet again, to be alone. I am learning to appreciate and value solitude. To never depend on anyone, being kind without expecting returns, to walk alone.

And to be the sole keeper of my own peace of mind.

Tried Drawing My Version Of Black From "TEKKONKINKREET"

Thought Snippets #02: Hiraeth

I watch silently and powerlessly as the meaning of everything changes yet again.
Places of bliss become suffocating, the familiar faces seem repulsive.
Home seems like such an alien concept.

 I don’t fit in here, I never did.

hiraeth

Favorite Excerpts From The Movie "Boyhood"

             
"Cyborg Generation"
                                                                             

SHEENA

... That sounds to me like just another extreme Mason view of everything.

MASON

Not at all! I finally figured it out. It's like when they realized it was gonna be too expensive to actually build cyborgs and robots... I mean, the costs of that were impossible. They decided to just let humans turn themselves into robots. That's what's going on right now.

SHEENA

Oh, right now?

MASON

Yeah! I mean, why not? There are billions of us just laying around, not really doing anything. We don't cost anything. I mean we're even pretty good at self-maintenance and reproducing constantly. And as it turns out, we're already biologically programmed for our little cyborg upgrades.

SHEENA

How?

MASON

Seriously. I read this thing other day about how, like, when you hear that ding on your inbox you get a, like a dopamine rush in your brain. It's like we're being chemically rewarded for allowing ourselves to be brainwashed. How evil is that?

We're fucked.

SHEENA

So you deleting your Facebook page is gonna change all that? Remember when Trevor deleted his Facebook page last year and everyone just hated him? You made more fun of him than anyone.

MASON

I still make fun of Trevor, though.

SHEENA

But it looked like he was so pathetically desperate for attention.Or to be different, or something.

MASON

That's just 'cause they did that lame story about it in the school paper.

SHEENA

And then he had to make a big announcement about it when he came back a month later.

MASON

That's the thing though, I'm not doing it for attention. I just want to try and not live my life through

a screen. I want, like, some kind of actual interaction. A real person, not just the profile they put up.

Sheena's looking at her phone.

SHEENA

Oh, I'm sorry. Were you saying something?

She laughs.

MASON

Yeah, okay, I know you're joking, but, I mean, it's kinda true you have been, you know, checking your phone this whole time, and so what are you really doing? You don't care what your friends are up to on Saturday afternoon but you're also obviously not fully experiencing my profound bitching so... it's like everyone's just stuck in, like, an in-between state. Not really experiencing anything.

SHEENA

It's not an experience, it's just information. Look, for example, I just got the address of the club

where we're meeting them later, so we won't be wandering the streets of Austin lost for an hour tonight. Thank you very much, Facebook. And I just texted my mom back.

MASON

Oh, that's -- that's groundbreaking. She hasn't seen you in, like, 55 minutes?

SHEENA

Oh! Oh my god, most importantly, Meg's family just got a miniature pet pig.

Sheena hands him the phone.

MASON

(looks at phone photo)

Hm!

(Laughs)

Okay, you're right. That is a --

SHEENA

Right?

MASON

That is a really cute, tiny pig. Our lives can go on.

SHEENA

I want one.

"Seizing Moments"

NICOLE
You know how everyone's always saying, "Seize the moment"?

Mason nods yes.

NICOLE (CONT'D)
I don't know, I'm kinda thinkin' it's the other way around. You know, like, the moment seizes us.

MASON
Yeah. Yeah, I know. It's constant, the moments, it's just... it's like always right now, you know?

NICOLE
Yeah.
They trade smiles.


"Ryan's Song"

Well, I want for us to be together forever
But to wander wherever I may
I want you to be easy and casual
But still demand I stay

I want for you to know me completely,
But still remain mysterious
Consider everything deeply,
But still remain fearless

Climb to the top, look over the ledge
Dance barefoot on a razor's edge
Reach for the stars, grab the tiger by the tail
If I don't try, I'll never fail

If you go home, you're rolling the dice
Can't step in the same river twice
If you love too much, it'll turn to hate
If you never leave home, you'll never be late

If you eat too much, you're gonna get fat
If you buy a dog, you'll piss off your cat
Take a deep breath and enjoy the ride
Cause arrivals and departures run side by side

Boyhood 2014

Something For The Thinkers: 'The Egg' By Andy Weir

Something For The Thinkers: 'The Egg' By Andy Weir

My Project "Mundane Mandalas" on BoredPanda

Click here to visit the post

Thought Snippets #01: Dead, Spoken Words

A thousand thoughts thunder across my mind. Thousand queries, thousand explanations, thousand memories.
Yet the only words that manage to escape me are words like okay, sorry, It’s alright.
Dead, paralyzed words, with the occasional exceptions of long sighs.

Projects 3-2

Highrise Commercial Complex

Railfan

Somewhere, amidst the countless hours of journey I had made by train, I discovered myself madly addicted to the train. There are a lot of things in this world to be addicted to, yet one day, I find myself completely obsessed with all the noises of friction between iron parts that is Bangladesh Railway.

From an early age, train had been a joyous means of transport. Back in those days, my whole family would take this fantastic ride to my grandparent’s house to celebrate the holidays. That was a long time ago. I remember wondering why people take the train so much, all you can see through the window are the same old boring landscapes. I remember the benches facing each other in sets of four and wondering why on earth would they do that. I remember the plates of two different compartments meeting and sliding on top of each other as the train moved, I remember being so afraid of them. I would not dare cross that without my father.

Little did I know, one day I’ll be absolutely obsessed with all these things.

As time went on, I grew up, yet the trains remained pretty much the same. Since I started my undergrad studies in Khulna, which is a seven hour train journey from my hometown Rajshahi, the train has been a trusted companion.
It’s amazing how much space a mundane vehicle can occupy in your heart. I don’t know if it’s my severe homesickness or my inability to cope well with Khulna, but, for some reasons I had clinged onto this sure mean of transport. In between all the pressure you face in your undergrad life, the train was just one of those things I could always count on, always ready to take me home. And because of my homesickness, I made A LOT of train journeys.

Slowly, the train became my getaway. Apart from taking me home, which was for me the happiest and most exciting thing, the seven hours it took in each journey became my most personal time, my zen, my bliss. I would get a ticket beside a window, look out and get lost in my thoughts. It’s beautiful, getting lost in your own thoughts. I probably got to know myself better in these few hours than I ever did anywhere else.
The raw friction between the rails and the wheels, both of which are made of iron has become my favorite lullaby. It has gotten to a point where I prefer this sound than the music in my phone. The same old noises, yet each time they feel completely new and unique.
The usual scenaries that bored me as a child are now my favorite views. The endless lush green underneath a vivid blue, accompanied by cotton clouds in fall and rains in monsoon. This is a picture that has been painted countless times by poets and writers of these lands, yet however cliché they may sound, the beauty never ceases to amaze. Timeless landscape in the truest sense. At dusk and dawn, a golden aura outlines everything. At night, stars and fireflies take part in a breathtaking light show. Stars so bright and fireflies so many you can’t tell them apart.
How could anyone tire of this?
I love plates that go on top of each other and move independently. Sometimes I put each foot on each of the plates and watch in childish wonder as the train makes me dance. I can’t help but smile.
I love the seats in sets of four or six facing each other. I can see people going by their usual journey, some of them too busy to enjoy this marvelous ride.
I love how train jerks a little every time when it crosses a fouling mark. I love how I can see the whole train when it takes a massive turn.
I love the little kids that wave the train goodbye.
I love the hawkers selling unhygienic food, I love the overpriced tea, I love all the cute stations.
I love Pakshi and its elevated railway, the Hardinge Bridge.
I know why Sundarpur(সুন্দরপুর) is named such.
I love Ishwardi station and its hustle and bustle.
I am madly in love with Trains.

arani

inside a compartment

bliss over the horizon

topsy turvy