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Tuesday, December 27, 2016

2016: A Retrospective

So here it is, the last few days of 2016. Never been one of those people who write things about events, achievements or life events regularly, but sometimes I find too many things getting tangled up inside my head, and the only way I can unwind is to put things down into words. Its a kind of self assessment, if you will. Very personal.

Alright, back to the topic. The end of 2016. 2016 will easily be labeled a notorious year to say the least by most of the people, and for fair reasons. First we have the death of some great artists throughout the stretch of the year, and then of course a certain person with tiny hands (WRONG!), and of course the world in political and humanitarian turmoil. But on a really personal level, 2016 has been a pretty nice year to me. So its only fitting I say goodbye to it properly.

The year started with us moving to a new house. Which I hate. This was one of the bad parts actually. Our previous house was much bigger compared to this closet. The walls were light and creamy and relaxing. My room had a field beside it which ensured I always have a clear view of the sky. I enjoyed the night sky, the storm winds making the trees bend, the first cotton candy clouds of autumn, the first downpour of monsoon. I had unrestricted access to the rooftops. I could watch the nigh sky. Stargazing was a favorite activity. I taught myself the name of the stars and the constellations. Of course the new house has none of these, which actually impacted my behavior. I started to stay out more, and only came home to eat or sleep. I cant even draw as much as I did in the old house.
Not only that, the street where I live is an old one and was lined with beautiful old buildings. And in a desperate attempt of fixing an unplanned city, all of them, ALL OF THEM were brought down mercilessly to make way for a bigger road. This hurt me on unforgettable levels. I avoided the street for months, cause I couldn't bear the sight. But you know what? We learn to live on no matter  what. Adaptability. That's what millions of years of evolution taught us right? That's what I'm working on right now. Trying to make myself accept things. I hope to make progress real soon.

Apart from the above mentioned incident, I am trying more and more to accept changes.

One of the most valuable lessons I've learnt this year is that people are different. Their views are different, their opinions are different, their preferences are different. It's only natural if your values, choices, wants or other attributes don't match with another. It is absolutely dumb to expect everyone to be the same as you or behave the same as you. Having said that, what is not okay is being a liar about yourself and creating circumstances that make people expect wrong things from you.
Its a very obvious truth, I wonder why I didn't learn this earlier....
Oh wait. You never actually learn things unless you're the receiving end of a scenario.

I found out that there is no use in being sad, It doesn't make you poetic, or a special snowflake. Its kinda like taking a dump and rolling in it. It only kills your time and diverts you from the things you should be focusing on, like your own life. Nothing unique can happen to you that hasn't already happened to millions of people.

I am meeting new people. It always helps to keep your outlook fresh. But don't go deserting the people that has always been there for.

A beautiful thing has happened, I am starting to get inspired by a lot more things, a lot more people. I am starting to get inspired by the kids that look at me, say that they are inspired by me. I think it has to do with my appreciation of childish wonder. I consider it an absolute asset.

The struggle to let go and unlearn is a great one. Perhaps the hardest thing we have to do in order to push ourselves, to excel or to achieve new heights is to unlearn. Another valuable lesson from this year.

Guess what! I participated in INKtober this year! This has been a great exercise! I am actually a bit surprised that I pulled it off, given my short attention span ans slacker persona. If you want you can check out the drawings here. I also gave these drawings away in a giveaway to complete strangers. It was a fun first time experience.

This year I attended a camp (Jamboree) which was way out of my comfort zone. The experience was pretty great and it was a sudden shift in the routine life, the good kind of shift that is.

The kids that surround me has grown so much. In age experience and skill. It makes me realize how time flies and at the same time remind me of myself when I was their age.

Academically this was a stable year. I think I taught myself to manage my works in time.Which is actually a huge thing for a slacker for me.

I learned that If Rajshahi (my hometown) is like that mother who loved me unconditionally and kisses me anywhere I am hurt, Khulna (where I am studying at the moment) is like that terrible grumpy old math teacher who scolds me and smacks me for every little mistake I make, but at the end only wants to make something out of me and watch me succeed.

Well, that's about it. Its been a quite, peaceful year. Ups and downs were experienced, but hey, your whole notion of 'fair' is flawed if you want life to be fair but don't want to deal with your fair share of obstacles. So I'm calling it a good year. A year of growth, momentum and introspection. A year of changing definitions and a year of trying to let go. A year of gain in lessons and experiences, not a year of physical achievements. Lets see what the few remaining days have in store.
Lets buckle up for 2017.
All the best wishes for you.

P.S: This post is a procrastination. I am supposed to be working on my thesis project right now.


Oh well.
You know what I mean.
And yes, that is supposed to be me.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Round and Round We Go

Lets face it, the things that you are facing, everything that has happened to you, its not something new. Your problems, your obstacles aren't unique. They have been happening to humans for thousands of years. Nothing can ever happen to you that hasn't already happened to someone before.
All of us go through the same phases, but does that make things pointless?
Absolutely not.
Its not important whose problems are bigger or more significant, what matters is to go through your own hurdles, having your own realizations, sorting things out in your own way - even though it has already been done before.
Keep breathing, keep living.