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Monday, September 17, 2012

Homesick

For the past few days I've been feeling REALLY REALLY homesick and depressed.
So I was looking up homesickness on the web and came across some insights.
There were mental and physical symptoms and according to that I'm severely homesick.

Yearning to go back home? check.
Constant feeling of loneliness? check.
Sadness for no valid reason? check.
Strong feelings of anxiousness? check.
Lack of motivation? check.

Loss of confidence? check.
Depressive thoughts? check.
Frequent mood swings? check.
Unexplainable pain? check.
Sense of insecurity? check.
Living in isolation? check.
Lack of appetite? check


Symptoms:
Headache? check.
Nausea? check.Hair loss? check.
Weight loss? check.
Vomiting? Not yet.
Stomach ulcers? Not yet.

Diarrhea? Not yet.
Muscular cramps? check.
Muscular tension? check.
Suicidal thoughts? check(surprisingly)

Yupp, I'm severely homesick.

and yeah, the suicide bit is also true. I even went as far to look up "suicide methods" in wikipedia.

This is me right now
And this is my life cycle.


I don't know how long this will last. I cant work, concentrate or do anything. I miss everything so much I've been crying for the last few days. Then when I phone back home, it makes me cry even more because I cant tell them.
 I've practically limited myself to the extent of this room.
I feel so lonely and helpless.



Me with Ammu

The things I'd give to be home right now, seated before my mother while she rubs oil on my messy hair.
To be with my family, with my friends, and all that used to be.
I guess times like this make you realize how much you love certain things and how tightly you want to hold on.

Ammu, I love you.
Missing you so badly.


And I think my friends already know how much I love them.
 

The only consolation, the websites say its a temporary phase.

P.S: I am not a girl having menstrual mood swings.